How To Save Your Marriage

Learn to pick your battles.

The next time you feel like nitpicking, nagging, or arguing about something — stop and think! That old trick of counting to 10 before speaking is a very good method. That way you can take the time to determine if it really is worth getting into, or if it’s going to cause more problems than it’s worth.

Learn to view the other person’s perspective.

Being stuck in our own minds is selfish! It is also frustrating, because you expect your spouse’s actions and feelings to mirror your own. When they don’t, you get upset! If you take the time to consider their family life growing up, personality, likes and dislikes, you’ll appreciate where they are coming from more. We’ll discuss more about “walking in the other person’s shoes” a little bit later.

Laugh together!

Laughter really is the best medicine. Couples that take the time to have fun together are a lot happier than those who don’t. That means going out on dates with each other, cuddling, and just being together. This release can help you feel connected to the one you love once again. Plan a special night together at least once a week, and get a sitter for the kids! A simple few hours of letting loose and having fun can have a marvelous effect on your marriage as a whole.

Reconnect with reality.

Close your eyes and think about how you imagined marriage would be. Now, compare that with what the reality of it really is. Is there anything you can do to incorporate elements of your fantasy? If so — do them! If not, let those portions of your fantasy go because they will only lead to resentment.

Forget about the past.

If your partner has done some things that you just can’t seem to let go of, ask yourself what that is accomplishing. You are working on making things better in the future, or if something from the past is preventing that from happening, you simply need to let it go. This won’t be easy, but it’s very necessary. Write down the things you are holding on to, crumble the paper up, and throw it away. Taking this action can make it seem more real in your mind.

Understand that love shifts and changes.

Many people expect love to always stay the same. They think that the feelings you get when you first fall in love with someone will stick around forever. Unfortunately, that’s just not the case! Your love will go through many different stages. Learn to understand, accept, and appreciate it at every single stage. Telling your partner you love them every single day, and repeating affirmations about love is a great way to get in touch with your own feelings about love.