Love Keeps No Record Of Wrongs
Him - 4
Her - 27
“True love keeps no record of wrongs”. This is a big one. Let me get real practical with you here… If your spouse admits his mistakes and screw ups, obviously you need to forgive him. But you also need to do everything you can to forget about that wrong too. Now obviously you’re not going to literally fail to remember how your spouse wronged you…our human minds rarely allow that to happen… But for all intents and purposes you CAN forget about the “past sins” of your spouse, and I highly recommend that you do…
You know how to do this? You stop keeping score.
For a long time in my marriage I was guilty of this… it’s like I had a (long) scorecard in my mind where I made a mental note of every time my wife screwed up… and the scorecard would get longer and longer….and every time we fought, I was very good at reminding my wife about all her past mistakes…all her screw ups.
Do I even have to tell you what this did to our marriage?
Let’s just say my continual reminders to my wife about her past mistakes didn’t exactly bring us together…In fact, it just drove us apart even further.
The truth of the matter is that both you and your spouse probably have a whole lot of things you could mark on the scorecard. Past mistakes that happened…things you’ve since settled but not totally forgotten about…
You need to throw away the scorecard. And even more importantly, you need to stop keeping score.
My advice is that when you forgive your spouse about a particular thing (either because he/she asked for forgiveness or you just decided to “move on”), then you also need to pretend that this thing never happened. And like we said previously, it’s not that your mind will cease to remember.. It’s just that you are making a committment to not bring it up again. Period.