How To Save Your Marriage http://www.keepingyourmarriage.com/blog Mon, 21 Dec 2009 02:50:33 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.3 en My Wife Hates Me…What Do I Do? http://www.keepingyourmarriage.com/blog/my-wife-hates-mewhat-do-i-do http://www.keepingyourmarriage.com/blog/my-wife-hates-mewhat-do-i-do#comments Mon, 21 Dec 2009 02:50:33 +0000 admin http://www.keepingyourmarriage.com/blog/?p=230 Okay I’m not going to sugarcoat this…if your wife hates you, then your situation is obviously not good (pretty obvious, right?).  So what are you to do?

Well, first of all, if you’re hitting the Internet looking for solutions then obviously you *want* to change this situation.  Good for yoU!  Because that’s the first thing you have to get straight in your mind….that you are to NOT give up!  Okay?  Let me say it again:

DO NOT GIVE UP - KEEP ON HOLDING OUT HOPE EVEN IF YOUR WIFE HATES YOU!

Giving up is easy.  Giving up is what you may “feel” like doing much of the time.  Giving up is maybe what some of your friends are telling you to do.  But giving up is a FOOLISH thing to do when your wife hates you.  Why?  Let me tell you the reasons….

1) If you give up, you have ZERO chance of turning things around with your wife.  Seems like an obvious statement right?  But it’s true…if you throw in the towel she’ll continue hating you and you’ll continue to be miserable.  No good.

2) If you give up, you’re probably just going to become bitter (or more bitter!).  Life isn’t always easy, there’s no doubt about it.  But everything worth pursuing in life takes effort, and some of it takes a FIGHT.  Yes I know it’s a fight to not give up, but keep fighting!

3) And the 3rd reason not to give up when your wife hates you?  Because there really *is* hope.  Because people in your situation *have* turned it around in the past.  Because there really are those success stories of people reclaiming their marriage and reuniting stronger than ever with their spouse!

If you need a little hope, if you need a little direction…please check out the following resource I’ve written…it’s not free, but I think you’ll find it well worth it in exchange for what you get.  Good luck my friend….

]]> http://www.keepingyourmarriage.com/blog/my-wife-hates-mewhat-do-i-do/feed The Effects Of Divorce On Children http://www.keepingyourmarriage.com/blog/the-effects-of-divorce-on-children http://www.keepingyourmarriage.com/blog/the-effects-of-divorce-on-children#comments Thu, 25 Jun 2009 04:41:38 +0000 admin http://www.keepingyourmarriage.com/blog/?p=202 Consider the effects on children, for example. Children who come from divorced homes are more likely to have emotional problems, learning and focus issues in school, and poor outlooks on life. Now, keep in mind that the same things can happen to children who are in a home where fighting is a daily occurrence, but we’re going to banish that as well. Staying together really can be good for the sake of your children IF you follow this guide.

Divorce is extremely stressful for children. It’s so easy to get caught up in the proceedings of divorce that the needs of the children are not taken care of. Because of this, young children tend to regress developmentally and adolescents tend to lash out or withdraw completely.

Children tend to go through the following stages when their parents get a divorce:

l    Denial
l    Abandonment
l    Obsession
l    Anger
l    Depression
l    Immaturity/increase in maturity
l    Fantasy of reconciliation
l    Guilt
l    Acting out

Of course, children aren’t the only ones who are affected. The adults who are involved go through many different (negative) stages as well. This just isn’t something you really want to bring into your life!

]]> http://www.keepingyourmarriage.com/blog/the-effects-of-divorce-on-children/feed Why Divorce Is One Big Fat Lie http://www.keepingyourmarriage.com/blog/why-divorce-is-one-big-fat-lie http://www.keepingyourmarriage.com/blog/why-divorce-is-one-big-fat-lie#comments Thu, 18 Jun 2009 18:56:22 +0000 admin http://www.keepingyourmarriage.com/blog/?p=200 Divorce…one BIG FAT lie.  Unfortunately divorce has been glamorized to a certain extent by the media, celebrities, and other divorced couples you may know.

Everyone has seen the newly divorced man or woman who throws a party and is just glowing with excitement.  But what we don’t always see are the tears, depression, and hurt feelings that last a lifetime.

Don’t be like everyone else.  You’re going to be different.  You’re not going to give up! You’re going to do whatever you can to stay married to the love of your life.

Let me give you some statistics on divorce (they are quite sobering):

The Enrichment Journal on the divorce rate in America (2008) says:

l    Divorce rate for first marriages is 41%
l    Divorce rate for second marriage is 60%
l    Divorce rate for third marriage is 73%

…And believe it or not, these numbers are down from a few years back! It’s no wonder that divorce has become such a cultural phenomenon. It has almost become accepted and just a way of life for people to give up on their spouse. Since it’s so common it is almost seen as being no big deal by many people out there.  But the truth is that it is a very big deal.

]]> http://www.keepingyourmarriage.com/blog/why-divorce-is-one-big-fat-lie/feed The Effects Of Divorce http://www.keepingyourmarriage.com/blog/the-effects-of-divorce http://www.keepingyourmarriage.com/blog/the-effects-of-divorce#comments Fri, 12 Jun 2009 16:24:07 +0000 admin http://www.keepingyourmarriage.com/blog/?p=198 The effects after divorce can be catastrophic. Many people (especially women) are at poverty levels after divorce. Even those who consider themselves fairly well off struggle with money and the division of assets. Depression, grief, and guilt are very common at this stage. One or both parties may wish they hadn’t gone through with it, and it feels like the death of their old lifestyle.

Clearly, the effects of divorce are not something that can be glamorized. It is a devastating time that can literally affect you for the rest of your life. That is why it’s so important to do what you can now. Let’s be honest, you still love your spouse dearly, and they love you as well. It’s just a matter of a breakdown in communication, and losing touch with what love really is.

Soon I’m going to go in depth with some action steps to ensure that you’re not going to have to deal with these things. Your marriage is going to be saved!

]]> http://www.keepingyourmarriage.com/blog/the-effects-of-divorce/feed Men And Women Communicate Differently (Surprise!) http://www.keepingyourmarriage.com/blog/men-and-women-communicate-differently-surprise http://www.keepingyourmarriage.com/blog/men-and-women-communicate-differently-surprise#comments Wed, 03 Jun 2009 11:09:39 +0000 admin http://www.keepingyourmarriage.com/blog/?p=194 Historically, women have a much easier time with this concept than men. Don’t get too cocky women — sometimes the communication from women is so muddled that the man never really knows what you want!

There are two things at work here. First, the man tends to shut himself down when there is a problem. He is oriented on fixing the problem, and if he can’t do so right away, there is no sense in dealing with it. The book Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus describes this as men retreating to “their cave”.

Women, on the other hand, tend to spill out their feelings to the man. The man reacts by offering solutions to problems, or by ignoring. Either way, the woman doesn’t feel like she is really being heard. Women also have a tendency to say one thing, and mean another. Men are often expected to be mind readers, which only leads to resentment and frustration from both sexes.

Understanding these differences in communicating, and making an active effort to communicate effectively is key.

]]> http://www.keepingyourmarriage.com/blog/men-and-women-communicate-differently-surprise/feed Yes, Marriage Is About Compromise http://www.keepingyourmarriage.com/blog/yes-marriage-is-about-compromise http://www.keepingyourmarriage.com/blog/yes-marriage-is-about-compromise#comments Sun, 31 May 2009 14:12:03 +0000 admin http://www.keepingyourmarriage.com/blog/?p=196 In the early stages of dating, you are so excited about each other that you always tend to think of the other person first. It’s all about their needs and making them happy. As relationships wear on, there is less of that way of thinking and more of, “what about me?”

It’s the give and take that is important here. If one person is always giving and the other person is always taking, it breeds resentment. If neither person ever thinks of the other persons needs — well, that’s very off balance as well.

Listen up; love is not enough if you aren’t thinking about needs. We all need our egos stroked a bit and to feel like our desires are being met. Successful couples know that they often have to meet in the middle.

]]> http://www.keepingyourmarriage.com/blog/yes-marriage-is-about-compromise/feed Learn To Pick Your Battles http://www.keepingyourmarriage.com/blog/learn-to-pick-your-battles http://www.keepingyourmarriage.com/blog/learn-to-pick-your-battles#comments Fri, 29 May 2009 15:02:21 +0000 admin http://www.keepingyourmarriage.com/blog/?p=192 It’s so easy to focus on the petty things in life. He forgot to take out the trash, or she’s watching her show on TV while the big game is on. If you choose to focus on these smaller things day after day, the feelings aren’t going to stay small! They are going to snowball out of control until the emotions and resentment are running so high you can’t tell which end is up.

If you choose which arguments are most important to start, they will be easier to take care of. Choosing your battles is extremely important in maintaining a happy, healthy marriage. If one of you is keeping a record of every tiny thing that goes wrong — stop!

]]> http://www.keepingyourmarriage.com/blog/learn-to-pick-your-battles/feed Maintaining Your Individuality In Marriage http://www.keepingyourmarriage.com/blog/maintaining-your-individuality-in-marriage http://www.keepingyourmarriage.com/blog/maintaining-your-individuality-in-marriage#comments Thu, 21 May 2009 11:09:13 +0000 admin http://www.keepingyourmarriage.com/blog/?p=190 Many people who are resentful and unhappy in their marriage often say that they feel like they only are “a spouse” or “a parent.” There is little time left over to do things for themselves. While it sounds counterintuitive, one of the best ways to keep your marriage strong is by being an individual.

Happy couples take time to do things they each enjoy doing. Whether it’s closing yourself off in a room to read a favorite novel, or playing a round of golf with your buddies, it’s a great thing. Always put aside time for yourself, it’s a priority just like being a parent and a spouse is.

]]> http://www.keepingyourmarriage.com/blog/maintaining-your-individuality-in-marriage/feed Using Honesty To Maintain Trust http://www.keepingyourmarriage.com/blog/using-honesty-to-maintain-trust http://www.keepingyourmarriage.com/blog/using-honesty-to-maintain-trust#comments Tue, 19 May 2009 12:04:29 +0000 admin http://www.keepingyourmarriage.com/blog/?p=188 Most people like to think of themselves as honest and trustworthy. In reality, those little white lies can really start to build up. If you are constantly being caught in fibs, or just aren’t always being straightforward it can cause problems in other areas of your life as well.

If you make a commitment to always be open and honest with your partner, the suspicion and other problems that can occur, simply won’t. They will know they can trust you, and you’ll know you can trust them.

]]> http://www.keepingyourmarriage.com/blog/using-honesty-to-maintain-trust/feed No Marriage Is Happy All Of The Time… http://www.keepingyourmarriage.com/blog/no-marriage-is-happy-all-of-the-time http://www.keepingyourmarriage.com/blog/no-marriage-is-happy-all-of-the-time#comments Sat, 16 May 2009 23:54:23 +0000 admin http://www.keepingyourmarriage.com/blog/?p=186 So many of us have a messed up view of what a good relationship really looks like. We either see the couples who are getting divorced — clearly unhappy, or the couples who are uber-happy. The problem here is that no couple is completely happy all the time. Those who seem to be are just really good at hiding their problems.

Knowing that you’re completely normal if you have fights and slip-ups is a huge chunk of the battle. That will help you understand that you can’t just throw in the towel at the first sign of trouble. Often, the only thing that separates couples who stay married forever and those who divorce is how they handled the issues in their marriage. The same issues are there on both sides, they just handled them differently!

You’re going to become the couple that handles things the right way!

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