How To Save Your Marriage

In the early stages of dating, you are so excited about each other that you always tend to think of the other person first. It’s all about their needs and making them happy. As relationships wear on, there is less of that way of thinking and more of, “what about me?”

It’s the give and take that is important here. If one person is always giving and the other person is always taking, it breeds resentment. If neither person ever thinks of the other persons needs — well, that’s very off balance as well.

Listen up; love is not enough if you aren’t thinking about needs. We all need our egos stroked a bit and to feel like our desires are being met. Successful couples know that they often have to meet in the middle.

It’s so easy to focus on the petty things in life. He forgot to take out the trash, or she’s watching her show on TV while the big game is on. If you choose to focus on these smaller things day after day, the feelings aren’t going to stay small! They are going to snowball out of control until the emotions and resentment are running so high you can’t tell which end is up.

If you choose which arguments are most important to start, they will be easier to take care of. Choosing your battles is extremely important in maintaining a happy, healthy marriage. If one of you is keeping a record of every tiny thing that goes wrong — stop!

Many people who are resentful and unhappy in their marriage often say that they feel like they only are “a spouse” or “a parent.” There is little time left over to do things for themselves. While it sounds counterintuitive, one of the best ways to keep your marriage strong is by being an individual.

Happy couples take time to do things they each enjoy doing. Whether it’s closing yourself off in a room to read a favorite novel, or playing a round of golf with your buddies, it’s a great thing. Always put aside time for yourself, it’s a priority just like being a parent and a spouse is.